On Being a Trauma Survivor
This means different things to different people. While I cannot tell you what it might mean to anyone else, I can tell you what it means to me.
When I first began my healing journey, it was with trembling fear, fraught with never-ending nightmares that seemed forever stuck on rewind and replay. I lost count of the number of times I woke in the middle of the night screaming. From the emergency room to the therapist’s office, even though there’ve been many times when I felt I could not, I continue to place one foot in front of the other and continue forward.
It means that in the time that has passed since the trauma occurred, I dedicated a large part of my life to healing and understanding the unlying factors that contributed to the occurance of the trauma. Becoming more trauma aware and realizing that everyone, in the course of their lives, will usually experience some type of trauma has allowed me to find a new normal in the aftermath of shattered self-perception that trauma often produces.
It means that I have poured hours of time into researching the factors that motivate those who intentionally, maliciously, and with delight inflict trauma on others. I’ve researched Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Psychopathy, and Addiction to gain the level of understanding I’ve achieved thus far.
There’s been an equal amount of time I’ve put into learning how to recognize the warning signs of these personality types. That, and learning how to set effective boundaries to protect my personal well being, are by far the most valuable takeaways I’ve gained.
I am not ashamed to be a trauma survivor. Nor do I seek, want, or expect pity from anyone for it. It has made me stronger and wiser, and while it was literal hell to endure, I would not be the person I am today if it had not occured.
The person I’m becoming now is very much defined by helping others recognize and avoid these types of traumas. Or, if that fails or does not come soon enough, then showing them that healing is possible and how to achieve it. I am an ally to anyone who has suffered abuse, regardless of the scenario in which it occured. Your perceptions are valid and your experiences were real. The path to healing is not an easy one, but it is there for those who seek it and very much worth the struggle to walk it.
Red Flags of a Narcissist, https://abusewarrior.com/toxic-relationships/narcissistic-abuse/red-flags-of-a-narcissist/
7 Healing Affirmations for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/3949/7-healing-affirmations-victims-narcissistic-abuse/
10 Signs You Are Dealing With a Sociopath https://www.powerofpositivity.com/signs-you-are-dealing-with-a-sociopath/
Recovering From Trauma https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200111/recovering-trauma
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355967